We were doing fine until I started getting back into riding with her. Maybe I hadn't prepared her enough or what but all I know is that after I fell off everything fell apart. It could be because of the spring weather and it may just be hard for her to concentrate right now but she just feels so distant from me. She really wants nothing to do with me either unless I have food (even then she will just walk away after I give her something). I know that she is a horse and I must remember that she isn't a dog and will never think that way. I'm just really disappointed that for the last six years we are still not at a good point in our relationship, or anything for that matter. Maybe it is just too late to do anything about it, she's almost eight and maybe she's just too set in her ways.
Even catching her is building into a chore, she used to just walk right up to me. Then when I'd get her to the round pen I'd have to work her forever until she wasn't zoned out and focusing on me. I feel that it is always a fight with her and I almost feel that I always have to be rough to get her to do anything (or if not, she throws a fit)... She just... I don't know, I am so lost. I'm afraid to ride, I can't get hurt again (my wrist is still isn't healed from the last fall), and although I can't live without horses, I feel that I'm getting no enjoyment out of it anymore (at least with Ava). It is just becoming a chore and it is really depressing me.
I hate to be a downer about all of this but I truly don't know what to do. I feel if I sold her then I'd be selling apart of myself, she and I have been through everything together, I can't just give up on her now, right? We always hit huge rough patches when we get back to riding, maybe I should just stop. I wish this was easier.
Despite the Ava debacle I have some good news about school in the fall but I will leave that for a another post in the future.
Anyways, that's all.
I feel like that sometimes and I haven't had Shy nearly as long as you have had Ava. Don't stop, do fun stuff together. When I get in a slump with Shy, I try to do something fun and simple from the ground where we are most comfortable.
ReplyDeleteEveryone has those bad moments, especially with horses. I went through it a few months ago, but the thing that helped me get through that was doing more things on the ground, more simple rides with no training in mind. We did join-up/play time, I taught him some tricks and we went on rides, completely on the buckle and I just let him walk around, enjoy himself and let him trot/lope if he wanted to. Don't let it become a job. :)
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