Oh No! Winter Depression...

It snowed last night. Luckily we only got about half an inch; but it still looks like we could get more. I didn't see Ava yesterday. For some reason I just didn't have it in me to go down there. It has been super cold here lately and I really didn't want to deal with it down at the barn. I think I'm starting to get that Winter depression thing; all I want to do is sit at home watch television, read books, write stories, and draw; in the summer I'm basically outside 24/7. It's really weird but right now those are the only things I feel like doing. Ava most likely didn't mind though, being in a huge pasture and all. I bet I'll regret it the next time I work her but whatever, it's too darn cold! I don't even think I will go down today. Ugh, I feel so lazy!

I cannot wait for Summer to come back. Winter is pointless for me; skiing is too expensive, skate skiing freaks me out (permanently injured my ankle...), and ice skating gets boring after a while. So, yeah, not much for me to do.

In other news Thanksgiving is only 8 days away!! I'm really excited, Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays. I love cooking and bringing over food for everyone to feast on, it is a great time of the year.

Below are pictures from the day I fell off.

Here is the Collegiate saddle I tried out.
It sits evenly on her back but was a little small in the gullet.

Front view

Ava ready to go

I Didn't Know...

That Equestrianism was named the most difficult sport in the Olympics! Now I have actual proof to all of those other people who think horseback riding isn't a sport... They can suck it!

Check out the article [here]

A Light in a Dark Room

Thank you everyone for your kind words. This past week has been difficult. My concussion symptoms aren't letting up quite yet. I have also noticed that my eyes can't adjust to light very well. They will dilate but then try to adjust which in turn gives me headaches. It scared me when I first saw it, it was really creepy. On top of that, Ava almost hit me in the head (which could have made things much worse), school gives me a big headache and painful eyes (even while sitting there), and I wish it was Summer again... Mainly I just want my concussion to heal, I read it could take up to 4 weeks to heal! And at this point I could actually see that happening...

I went out to the barn yesterday. I don't quite trust myself driving yet so I had my mom go with me just in case. I wasn't there long. I grabbed Ava, still agitated with her and took her to the round pen (finally no one was using it). I worked her hard. Since I won't ride for a while lunging will have to be her workout. After she was all sweaty I took her into the arena and worked on some desensitization with a plastic bag. Luckily my BO wasn't there and I could do almost anything I wanted. Ava did pretty good. She is still not very relaxed but it was better today.

I also learned that some of the mare's at the barn are in heat; and I'm thinking that Ava is as well. I always forget she can get really moody when she goes into heat. So, that could be another reason she was acting horrible the other day. Although the main reason she was being horrible is that there was a rider in the outdoor arena and she couldn't see much besides the bobbing of the riders head, so I know that weirded her out. So, overall Ava did fine, I did my best to push her without pushing myself and in return I think it helped.

There may be hope for the little white mare.

And... My Heart is Broken...

All I wanted to do was take her on a walk...

I walked into the barn and set out her grooming box. I thought I could brush her off, lunge her for a minute then go on a walk. So, I caught her and brought her inside. She was good standing for grooming even though there were quite a few people around. Then I walked her out to the arena to start the lunging process. She was speedy and was being a pill for a little bit but actually calmed down nicely.

When she was all done lunging I started walking her outside and towards the big fields (I thought it would be perfect). We were only about half way there when Ava saw someone riding in the outdoor arena. Her tail flew up and she started prancing like an Arabian next to me. I thought she would calm down so I just kept walking with her. She suddenly cut in front of me and started rearing and trotting around me. I did my best to control her but I wasn't very effective because I am still kind of out of it since the fall. She was being a total psycho and almost hit me in the head from rearing (which would not be good...). So, when I could finally get some control of her I slowly started to head back. Of course I start crying and of course a new boarder saw the entire event and kept trying to talk to me but I just got myself away from there as fast as possible. I took Ava back to her pen and walked away.

The one time I needed her to be calm and just go on a little walk she turns into a fire breathing dragon. It doesn't matter if I work her five days a week for three hours, she never gets better. She has only gotten worse and I can't risk myself more injuries... We worked so hard this year, for what? Nothing, we are now starting from square one again... I officially know now that Ava does not care for me, she never has, never will. She has broken my heart too many times. I do not love her anymore. My heart is broken.

English, Never Again...

I took the western saddle back. It worked okay but the leather ended up not being great quality and it was too long for Ava's back. So, I went back to the tack store and returned it. Then I found this nice little Collegiate saddle and decided to try it out.

It looked great on Ava and actually sat even on her back. Riding in it was pretty nice too. Although, Ava is still being a little speed demon. I don't know if she is in pain or if she is just being a butt head. She does shake her head slightly when we ride and I'm still curious if something is bothering her. My BO pretty much says she is fine but I just have the feeling that something is wrong. I may need to get the vet out to check.

Well, Ava had a hard workout because of her speediness. She was really sweaty afterwards so I decided to take her outside to cool off. We went down to the big pasture, turned around then started heading to loop around the barn. Although as we were approaching a corner Ava heard something and did a 180; but as this was happening I went the other way. I tried to stay on but couldn't manage it and fell hard on the ground smacking my head against the hard ground and scraping and bruising my the back of my left hip. I then laid there. Suddenly I heard my BO ask if I was okay, I leaned up not looking at him but my head throbbed and I laid back on the ground. He asked if I was okay again and I responded with a 'yeah'. I finally leaned all the way up, my head hurting and tears filling my eyes. When I was finally standing he asked if I was okay again and I told him 'yes' in a weepy tone then grabbed Ava and started to slowly walk away. When we were finally out of sight I sat down on some stairs and cried.

I was not mad at Ava. She stood close by me after I fell and waited till I got her. I just wish that I was paying more attention. I was already tired from our workout and this just took it over the top.

It took me a bit to gather myself before returning to the barn. I really hoped no one else had arrived; I couldn't bare the embarrassment of telling somebody why my face was red from tears. Luckily no one else was there besides my aunt and BO. Surprisingly my BO was a good sport, he seemed to be trying to cheer me up and it helped, otherwise I would have started crying again.

After everything was done my aunt had me drive behind her on our way home. My head felt swollen, I was really tired (still am), I felt weak, and I just felt out of it, almost spacey. So, we went home.

I thought I felt better after I got home but ended up still feeling spacey; and my head would throb and I felt so tired. Then after I had some lunch I thought it would help but only minutes after my heart started to beat really fast, my body got all shaky, and I started crying again. I thought I was going to be sick but luckily I could keep it down. My mom took me to the clinic and she talked to a nurse. I felt really out of it, I didn't even want to answer any of the questions she asked me. I just wanted to sleep. The nurse said it was head trauma (duh!) and after Googling it, it sounds like a pretty mild concussion (maybe?). So, I'm super excited about that.............

At the moment my neck feels sore, my scrape is kind of stinging, and luckily my head doesn't hurt too bad (I bet all the Motrin is kicking in now). So, we'll just have to see what happens in the morning. Hopefully I will still remember who I am, haha!

Last things: I will not ride english any time soon and I will always be riding in a helmet. That helmet saved me from a much worse head injury. Thank you helmet!