And... My Heart is Broken...

All I wanted to do was take her on a walk...

I walked into the barn and set out her grooming box. I thought I could brush her off, lunge her for a minute then go on a walk. So, I caught her and brought her inside. She was good standing for grooming even though there were quite a few people around. Then I walked her out to the arena to start the lunging process. She was speedy and was being a pill for a little bit but actually calmed down nicely.

When she was all done lunging I started walking her outside and towards the big fields (I thought it would be perfect). We were only about half way there when Ava saw someone riding in the outdoor arena. Her tail flew up and she started prancing like an Arabian next to me. I thought she would calm down so I just kept walking with her. She suddenly cut in front of me and started rearing and trotting around me. I did my best to control her but I wasn't very effective because I am still kind of out of it since the fall. She was being a total psycho and almost hit me in the head from rearing (which would not be good...). So, when I could finally get some control of her I slowly started to head back. Of course I start crying and of course a new boarder saw the entire event and kept trying to talk to me but I just got myself away from there as fast as possible. I took Ava back to her pen and walked away.

The one time I needed her to be calm and just go on a little walk she turns into a fire breathing dragon. It doesn't matter if I work her five days a week for three hours, she never gets better. She has only gotten worse and I can't risk myself more injuries... We worked so hard this year, for what? Nothing, we are now starting from square one again... I officially know now that Ava does not care for me, she never has, never will. She has broken my heart too many times. I do not love her anymore. My heart is broken.